Injured, wounded, depressed. ahh just another day

Life has been rough lately, injured knee, pneumonia, and then a job related back injury that decided to flare back up in an outstandingly painful way a week and a half later.  So the knee is what they are calling I T band inflammation, or pure painful hell as I call it.  Now it has been getting under control through physical therapy and rest.  Well that was going peachy until I caught bronchitis which I then allowed to progress to pneumonia.  Yes I am a medic and yes I know better but .. well no excuses I just ignored it and it did not go away.  Now finally back to work and just starting to get back into working out when I fall out the back of the squad on a code and crush my lower mid back on the steel reinforced edge.  Ohh joy, searing pain up and down my back.  Off to the ER and several days off of work to allow it to mellow out.  X rays show nothing broken so yippie its muscular.  Back to work I go 9 days later or so.  Mid back still tight, I can feel a knot in it that just isnt going away, so what does Human do.. well I ignore it, it will get better since that has worked out so well for me in the past.  Nope Monday morning while watering the flowers before work.. stabbing pain, I cant breath, cant stand ohh wheezy its the big one.  yeah, full back spasm.  One shot of tordal later and I can sorta move.  That night back to the ER.  Now I have broken bones, had blown ligaments apart, broken ribs you name it.. nothing compared to a thorasic strain as they label it.  Couldn't breath, could not get off the floor when I had been icing it.  Was ready to call a squad to come and get me.  Finally, get angry enough to get up and walk to the jeep to hit the er.  Whoopie, Demerol, which I just discovered I am allergic to, but I am functioning.  Now its Friday and I am still taking pain meds, still cant turn and bend, still in pain.  I hate pain, I am allergic to it.  Tomorrow I go and see the doc again, and then to P.T. for my back.  Just want this over.

I am flighty at times its all.. ohhh sparkly

So here I am stuck with a conundrum, you see I might be slightly flighty and bounce between infatuations.  I do not know what it is but some things have this, ohhh shiny, effect upon me.  My poor loving wife has to put up with the randomness that is Human.  Yes, I just referred to myself in the third person, after all its the craze now and if it isn't well then I am eclectic and hence cooler then I was 2 minutes ago.  AWESOME.  Meanwhile back at the ranch, I have this addiction of collections.  I collect many things to give you an idea, I am on the QUEST, yes quest all in caps.. this is serious business here people, to find the perfect belt/clip/pocket knife.  I have been after it for years but the damn thing keeps evolving in my mind so its rather difficult but what is life without trials? I am on a mission for the ideal indestructible watch, I think I have it now thanks to my last Christmas gift from my wife and her Uncle Kent (side note I want to be as cool as him someday..doubtful but it is a goal) but I still have to look.  I appear to collect hobbies though they are short lived and not very full filling overall, some stay and some go only to reappear again reborn in a new shine of potential only to be cast back down into the abyss, or my closet, which ever is handy at the time.  After all, there is only so much time in the day and one must spend it in trivial pursuits and the occasional honey do lists.   I am constantly shopping, for rather random things, chase an idea down, research it, drool over the potential and the excitement of something new and diverse.. and that people is the key I believe to my collections.  Its the chase.  Its the learning something new, the taste of something different in a rather benine sorta way.
Well something old has come back around and reared its shiny new head.  You see I have always had this habit of trying to find the perfect pen, part of it is work where I have to sign things in black ink... why black beats the hell out of me that is out of my pay grade... anyway you know how it is when you borrow a pen and it writes ohh so well.  You look at is try to remember the brand, the type, the point size, what color ink, the heft of it, how it fits your hand.. well you get the idea.  There are a thousand different things that make up a good pen all of them completely subjective.  Now I had a very good pen, one that wrote like a champ, the heft was ideal it was a nice pen given to my by Big Lou back when I was working on my masters.  I remember it clearly, it was a blue enameled Waterford.  That is the pen that I judge all others against.  It has been gone now many a year lost during my moves between masters, doctorate attempt, teaching, and various other careers I have collected and undoubtedly it did not write as well as I remember and I think the barrel might have been to thick actually, but lets not cloud feelings with judgement people I am flighty and far to easily destracted to be bothered my reality.  So back to the topic, the reason this has come up is, well .. this blog attempt that I am doing.  You see I am having a hard time conceptualizing what to write about so I thought, well lets go old school and write out what I want to say in a journal.  Ohhhh a journal.. yeah new hobby .. then I could blog from it in some sort of orginization and conscious fluidity.  So I spent several days researching journals, yeah I know its basically a not book but come on have you ever actually looked at the options out there. I mean DAMN, there are a lot of varieties and styles and well its something new that I never looked into .. ohh its soo exciting.  Yes I do need to get out more but well this is me.  So along with the journal research logic dictates that if you are going to write you need a write utensil to go along with that fancy notebook.  So here we are back at an old collection that is rearing back up into prominence.  Also spurred on by a recent trip to Mall of America, the worlds largest mall.. ohh boy.. I hate crowds.. hate them with a passion.. I become He Who Walks With Fists, a name given to my by my friends after observing me in an airport, in a crowd and well that includes Malls, airports, sidewalks, bars, clubs, well anywhere thats crowded.  .. wow .. off topic .. concentrate ohh master of the flighty thought patterns.. anyway at giant edifice of consumerism there is a store that deals with pens.  Paradise Pens,  I had to walk around it twice, its not very big but wow what a selection of incredibly expensive pens, I mean a MontBlanc for a grand.. are you kidding me 1000 dollars for a freaking pen, people are crazy.  Of course while we where at the mall I did try on a Tag watch.. it was really cool .. but not $3500 cool.. people are crazy.  .. shakes the head... topic damn you..
So this pen store rekindled some of my desire for a good pen.  Now lets define a good pen.  It must feel good in the hand, it must write at my angle of attack, it has to have the right heft and well yeah its gotta look good, not necessarily classy even though that would be nice but it has to stand out.  For example, one of the pens I was looking at is made my ACME.. Yes, the wile coyote company.  I find this pen to be rather cool, the calligraphy series taken straight from ACME's webpage.  It just appeals to me, I like it.  BUT I have never lifted it or felt it to see how it would fit and write.  So its a pipe dream, but I still look and check out what is out there.. the chase ...  soo many cool things so little band width.
So we see a pen we like.  Something about it has set it apart from the 50 gazillion different pens out there, so what version to you pick.  Do you want the gel ink roller ball, the ball point, the original roller ball, or do you dare to go old school and select the classic fountain pen.  Well, I have owned two fountain pens, both back in the late 80's early 90's and I used them alot and liked them alot, but I learned that you never let a high schooler try to write with your fountain pen.  They bend the hell out of the nib and well there goes that pen.  They were not expensive fountain pens, steel tipped and serviceable.  I have no idea on the nib size, or style but they are a thing from the past.  A classic.
Think on this, we are a nation of caffeine addiction, coffee shops are everywhere.  People go there to drink coffee, surf the net, conduct business, hang out with friends, study and people watch.  Now close your eyes and picture the coffee shop the last time you were there.  Was there someone on a laptop?  Used to be if you were on a laptop in a store you were strange.  Now they are everywhere.. hell I am writing this on my netbook the ultimate in laptop portability.  I have even been that guy on the computer in the coffee shop, BUT I can not recall seeing anyone writing with a fountain pen at a coffee shop since my days in grad school.  Its a throw back, its like seeing a classic old car or motorcycle.  You take note and enjoy seeing the past come by again as a classic.  It puts a smile on your face, not sure why but it does to me at least.  Can you see where this is headed.  I want a classic, a throw back pen.  I want a fountain pen and everything that goes with it.  The sound, yes you know that sound the scratch of a fountain pen that is lost with the roller ball or the ball point.  I want the not so efficient but infinitely cooler pen, perhaps a older used pen that has its own history.    I probably won't be able to write worth a damn with one but hey reality does not dare to intrude upon my collections and desires.  A classic pen to go along with a classic heavy papered journal, well probably a sketch book since conformist lines are well .. for conformist.  Ha take that you lemmings.
Oh now for the benefit, at least to people like me, of a fountain pen.. wait for it...... wait ...... the ink.  Do you have any idea how many types of inks there are for a fountain pen?  Google it.. I double dog dare ya.  Oh more chase.  Hell days have gone into the chase, reading, learning, evaluating what pen addicts say in reviews, reading blogs about pens and inks, and paper.  Its all new and shiny or classic and shiny.. or .. well its a sparkly damn it its all sparkly.. and it is good it entertains.  It has potential, and as a side benefit it will help my penmanship which needs help.  All the benefits a mind needs to continue to grow and learn and ohhh sparkly.

Gearing up to take a girl turkey hunting.

Original hunting list..

.410 shot gun ...                      check      
shotgun .........                         check          
shooting sticks..                       check
blind...                                     check
turkey calls...                           check
youth hunting permit...              check
PB&J sandwiches...                 check
juice box.....                             check
camp chairs for small people.... check

So I am taking my niece Lauren out on her first turkey hunt.   We have had a few days of shooting to make sure that she can hit what she needs to.   We worked on her muzzle control and overall gun safety, she is ready.  For the last two years, Lauren has been asking to go hunting with us.  Last fall, we started working toward this day.  I admit it she has me wrapped around her finger so I might be a bit biased.  Well for the uninitiated, spring turkey hunting runs in two main varieties.  There is the set up and call and try to pull in a tom or a jake from his harem and there is the the spot and stalk where you basically run around calling trying to get a tom to answer you and then you move in on them.  Now turkeys have amazing eye sight and well spook very easily.  Well my 9 year old niece does not have the legs I do so we are setting up and calling.  Now some things I did not know.  A.  Getting a nine year old up at 330 am is not a nice thing.  Now Lauren did very well.   Well, first things first a breakfast to start the day.  Here we go toast with PB&J

Then its time to get dressed and head on out for the orientation briefing and to set up for the day of hunting.  

Now she is a small girl which is why we are using a .410 shotgun.  Here she is sporting her shooting vest and required blaze orange hat, to prevent us from being shot by other hunters.  Yes not many turkeys wear blaze orange, its a fashion thing.  

Out we go and set up in our blind to see what we can get to come in.  We set up on a boundry between timber and this field with our decoys out in front.   We heard some shooting right off at dawn but this is the first weekend of early youth season.  Not quite the peak time but hey we take what we can get.  NOW comes in the 9 year old zone.  Dawn was at 655 am.. we were set up at 530 am.. yeah do the math.  For me its not a big deal to wait, for a 9 year old... .. wow .. we waited and talked about what we wanted to do.  Dawn rose and we started to watch and listen and call.  We heard some gobbling but nothing close by.  We saw several batched to turkeys but couldn't pull the tom's off of their hens.  All in all the first day was a bust no birds no shots.  ahh well, about 1030 ish she was bored.  My rule is, if it isn't fun we shouldn't be doing it.  Lauren was getting bored so we broke camp and took off back home so she could make it in time for dance class.  We cruised through the area to see  all different species of ducks that were nesting in the area and talking about which ones we hunt and usually see.

As we drove around the preserve Lauren became rather quiet and alarm bells went off.  After all, I used to get into all kinds of trouble as a kid, mostly when I was quiet.  Quiet equals sneaky sneaky and sneaky means I am up to something.  So I looked back to see what she was into and.. well .. girls are different I guess.

Aw well, we tried again the next morning, with a slightly revised list.  Add in a Nintendo DS to help her pass the time and this is what you get.

Hunting is hard work.  Well we lasted a bit longer, even in the blind I think we were moving too much and well we were not exactly quiet.  After all one must have a serious face while hunting.  Trying to keep her entertained.  We had fun, it was not what I had hoped to accomplish but I tried.  I had visions of her getting a turkey right off the bat, but it didn't happen.  On the drive home from that second day, I hear from the back seat, " Uncle Mot, what am I going to hunt after turkeys?"

Mot:  Well, little one we normally hunt ducks but you are not quite big enough to move up in shotguns to hunt ducks. 

Lauren:  Well I will grow at least 2 inches by then, well that be big enough?  

Mot:  We will see. 

Lauren:  Can I hunt deer?

Mot:  Did you like Bambi?  

Lauren:  No, Deer taste good right?

Mot:  Yes, little one they taste very good.

Lauren:  OK can we hunt deer?

Mot:  Yes we can.

Lauren:  Okay

I have created a monster, and well I like it.  Now to look for a new gun so that my niece and hunt deer.  

It is going to be an interesting few years.

My first race.

Well this weekend was St Louis's St Patricks day run, 5 miles.  Nej has been running for almost a year now and seems to be one of the strange people that enjoys running.  Its very odd, but it makes her happy so its all good, anyway Nej signed up to run in the race and well signed me up as well.  I do not run.  Years ago I partially destroyed my left knee skiing and well it has never been fixed and is one of the main reasons I don't run.  That knee just hurts.  So I work out on ellipticals, lift, swim and call that good.  I well say this, race events are fun.  LOTS of people in all sorts of shapes come out to play.  I like it because you get a nice tech shirt, which I can use hunting.

People in front of me waiting

at the start line waiting for it to begin

People behind me waiting 

Now it was an awesome day, sunny nice and cool, not hot, not cool just freaking awesome.  

They let the elite runners go, then  paused to let the serious runners start and then finally they let the rest of us go.  People took off.  about 1.5 miles in I took pictures to show you the mass of humanity that was running.  Unfortunately, I missed the college kids that were pushing a pony keg on a kart to keep hydrated.  Gotta stay hydrated when you run. 

fun day, I tried to stay somewhat in the middle of the mass.  I finished in under an hour which is not great but hell I didn't train for it.  I think I will get my knee looked at and then consider running.  Thats it just consider it.  Running hurts.  Its two days post run and my legs still hurt.  The guys on the rig laughed at me when I had to run to the rig, or in my case just sorta gimp along.  The joys of exercise.   After the run, we went to Blueberry hill for burgers, which were awesome, and then to the Gateway gun club to shoot some trap with Nejs cousin and uncle.  GREAT fun.  It has been a long time since Nej and I have gone trap shooting and this made us realize how much we miss going out and just shooting together.  Gateway is a nice trap and skeet facility.  9 ranges both trap and skeet and they had two more trap houses poured waiting to be developed.  Nej brought out her  Benneli Montefeltro 20 ga and was crushing clays like a mad woman, I married well. It was great fun a great weekend all around.  

I am a geek

Yes its true.  Welcome to my world, on my days off I hit the gym to get my anti-tub-of-goo workout in and then I head home to play with the dog, clean if I remember too, and play video games.  yes I am a gamer.  The other night was the release of Dragons Age 2 for the xbox 360.  Yes, I stayed up and went to the midnight release.  I did not take a camera to capture the insane amount of geekdom that was occurring.    It was entertaining.  Not as big a crowd as when Black ops came out but still it was fun.  Kids sitting around playing cards, people talking about their favorite games from the past.  I sat back and people watched as usual.  No one dressed up for the event here.  At least I think it was mostly normal cloths.
Gamers are a unique group, most are hard core computer geeks that spend time checking specs and trying to push the envelope of their systems.  They spend hours online playing and finding ways to play better.  They link up and coop with groups that become the core of their online life.  Yes, last year I was one of these.  I was addicted to World of Warcraft like a crack addict.  Spending 12 to 13 hours a day online playing on my day off was not uncommon.  I would drink massive amounts of energy drinks and not really eat properly.  Then Nej held an intervention and saved my life, I no longer play WOW and I do not drink any energy drinks.  I am still married to the greatest chic ever and I still play video games but its not the massive hours I used to play.  When Nej comes home the games go away.  Life is good.

Now tonight, HOMEFRONT comes out.  I have it pre-ordered but will not pick it up at midnight since I am at work.  I will pick it up tomorrow and try it out.  I have been looking forward to this game for a month or two now.  The core group I play with all have it pre-ordered.  Tomorrow will be a day of resistance.  It should be fun.

Starbucks thoughts and observations.

As you know I am a fireman and we work 24 hr shifts.  Which means that I go to work at 7 am and get off work hopefully at 7 am.  So with Nej running and working out in the mornings if I leave work and drive like a bat out of hell I still will not see her before she leaves for work.  This sucks.  So I have taken a chapter from her book, and started working out after work at Lifetime fitness.  So my typical day is doing 30 minutes of  intervals on a procor elliptical trainer, after I get off the torture device I head over to the isolation machines and get in a high speed circuit upper body / back workout, which will leave me in pain for the next two days.  Now comes the reward, if I feel capable I then hit the pool to swim laps for 15 to 30 minutes depending upon how I feel.  Finally, I sit in a steam sauna and just relax before my shower.  To add music to the dry side of my work out I listen on my ipod to Podrunner.  If you have never heard of podrunner get your head out of the sand and step up.  1 hr long blocks of high energy high tempo music selectable by beats per minute to help you maintain your workout pace.  It is a MUST if you do any sort of elliptical work out.
So that is what happened this morning, but I noticed something odd today.  After my shower, I was getting dressed when I noticed several, not one not two but three different middle aged, OK I am in my forties but these guys were older then me..... .. noticably.. damn I guess I am middle aged... son of a ... oh well.. back to the story.  So 3 older dudes getting ready to work out in what they guess is designer workout gear from the 80's when I noticed the true oddity... they were putting on cologne.  I saw a Brute, a drakar and I think a Polo.  Then they left the locker room in a\ herd trailing aromatic bonanza of overpowered manliness.  Now I really have no clue why you would put on cologne to work out.  COME ON PEOPLE its a freaking gym not a night club.  The last thing I want when I am working out is to talk to anyone.  I am there for a high speed workout no distractions, get the sweat on and get it done so I can get on with my day.. and get my smoothie..
So today, after leaving the gym I went and talked to Nej at work.  We are going to have lunch today so I have several hours to kill, if I go home I will NOT get back out so instead I hit a book store and checked out a new book that I want, Patrick Rothfuss's new book.  I have been waiting for this book for several years now, along with all of his other fans, so as I sat down to read it, I realized that I had forgotten to much and will have to reread the Name of the Wind again before I pick it up.  Ah well, so that time killer is out, hell book stores can burn multiple hours usually.  Steve you should grab this book its really really good.
So where to go to kill time, STARBUCKS, yes time to feed the caffeine addiction and write up this post.  So here I sit with my little cup of liquid caffeine delight.  I used to drink raspberry lattes, now I am a mocha with half the chocolate and one pump of raspberry guy.  Its like Christmas cookies in a cup if a massively lovely caffeine kick.
So here I sit in my corner, people watching and typing.  Its a typical starbucks, guys in suits taking over too many tables with their coats and computers talking as fast as they can, being who I am I moved a suits coat to sit down and glared at him when he turned to make a comment.  We have the prozac soccer moms sitting reading on their ipads pounding down double latte mocha-chinos in their tech gear and north face coats each one trying to show off more bling then the next.  We have the book club ladies with their bright red lacquered fingernails and velour sweat pants, an odd combo to say the least.  The college students surviving on caffeine, sleep deprivation and striving to finish that paper on their macs.  The retired guys drinking black coffee and reading the paper. Finally, we have the mid 50's hippy guy, with his grey pony tail, Birkenstocks, cargo shorts and a broken in safari shirt, working on his 3000 dollar alienware laptop of ultapower gaming domination and talking on his blackberry via the new blue tooth ear bud, VERY COOL VERY JEALOUS OF THAT LAPTOP.  He is putting the suits to shame, its great.  He is comfortable in his skin.  No pretense, just is.  Gotta respect that.  Ah well, my time is about up I have to go pick up Nej and take her to lunch.  Since we do not see each other in the mornings we have lunch, it allows me to get my Nej fix to hold me over.
So concludes my thoughts at starbucks.

Looking to the future

AToday I am feeling my age, with the feelings about unions, city employees, and pensions I am looking to the future.  Where are we going to retire to, not Omaha that is for damn sure.  So we have a vacation coming up in April and I would love to drive around and see how we like some states that we are considering.  I have time, lots of time but still it would be nice to have an idea and begin in that direction.  So states like New Mexico, Wyoming, Minnesota, Missouri,  Colorado, Oregon, Utah, Alaska, and Both of the Dakotas come to mind. Why you ask. Well they all have excellent hunting opportunities, they are a bit more wild.  We are looking at small towns and country living.  Yes I am a country boy at heart and I miss the farm life, correction I miss the acreage life.  We are looking for a place to let the dogs roam, a place to hunt - waterfowl, upland and big game, a place to set up a trap house so we can shoot trap from the back deck.  Somewhere near national forests, wildlife management areas, Mountains would always be a plus.  Somewhere with topography.  Nebraska is a topographic wasteland.  We have a few bumps, a few hills but mostly we are a wind swept plain of blah.  Now the sand hills in Northwestern Nebraska are so amazing that they should be a state themselves.  Hell I could see us moving to Western Nebraska to be near my family, but thats the catch.  Why not move to Iowa to be near Nej's family.  So a conclusion, we are just plain moving away.  Getting out of Dodge.. I used to live in Dodge so I know how that works.
Now what do we look for?  When I look I tend to track toward farm properties. Small farms would be ideal for me.  Plant in food plots and manage for game.  I would be in hog heaven.  We would have to make trips to Mexico to get our tequila fix.  We would have to go to hockey games somewhere.  There will be enough room to have family and friends stay with us for a couple of weeks without having a Shinning moment.  Ahh well, to be honest all it has to be is a place where Nej and I are happy.  Thats really what counts.  The rest is just frosting.  Still, shooting trap off the back deck would rock.